Inevitable Cliche

A proper post is in order but, um, not right now? To make it short, I moved to Brooklyn...Bushwick to be exact. I've been here just over two weeks, the first of which doesn't count so much because I was on the Chantix and, believe what they say, I was ridiculously paranoid/psychotic. 24/7 anxiety attacks not helped along by a house in withdrawals. Such is life. I have learned a few things. Here goes:

1) Balantine is basically Mickey's but less fun.
2) Rolling cigarettes is cheaper than buying them but finding a bodega that sells illegals is where its at.
3) Do not let Crackhead Pete in the house.
4) There are rogue Cherokees squatting in my neighborhood and they carry machetes.
5) Heels are for people that can afford cars.
6) Union Square cannot be avoided.
7) The hottest accessory in Williamsburg is an assistance (food stamp) card.
8) Everyone knows the "most amazing bar" and they are all pretty much the same.
9) Waking up before 11am is advisable if you want to see the sun.
10) The kid from Sixth Sense still looks the same and is BFFs with Jeru the Damager.
11) The Meatpacking District still believes in free drinks.
12) Being blonde in the hood is where its at.
13) HopStop fucking lies.
14) $4 beers add up.
15) Bedbugs are harder to get rid of than crackheads.
16) Wearing black in this city really is inevitable.
17) Being "between apartments" is more common than being "between jobs."
18) The more people, the more fashion faux pas.
19) Never go to Astoria. That shit is far and worse than (I imagine) Connecticut.
20) Chinatown Bus is my new shit. Run away with me?